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Pushing Yourself Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Blond women looking for guys. Will a shy guy have enough confidence to approach her?By Justin Stenstrom (Guest Author)

When it comes to meeting women, the hardest thing for most guys to get over is the fear of looking like a fool. This fear alone holds so many guys back from improving their dating lives.

It can be so hard for guys to simply step out of their comfort zone and overcome this major dread. Us guys just feel so vulnerable and weak when we try something and fail, or worse yet, try something and look like a complete fool before completely failing!

When it comes to something like approaching a beautiful woman at a bar or starting a conversation with a pretty woman sitting next to us on the train, this fear is compounded even more. Once a woman whom we are innately attracted to is brought into the equation of making a guy look like a fool, the fear is insurmountable! Forget it!

So what can we do? What steps can guys take to help them get over this real-life fear that’s holding them back from success in their love lives?

3 Steps that work like a charm

Well, I got 3 steps that I want to share with you that I know work like a charm. How do I know they work? Because I’ve personally taken all 3 of these steps before in my life. I personally went through the same struggle and fear and real-life experience with pushing myself beyond my own comfort zone!

So if you’re thinking about changing your dating life and you want to push yourself far beyond the comfort zone you have built up over the years, follow these tips:

1. Take a Dance Class

Why take a dance class? Dancing is one of hardest things for guys who are a bit shy with ladies to get down. Even if you don’t turn into Michael Jackson after a few months, you should get much more comfortable with moving around and much more comfortable with your body. The confidence you get after being more in-tuned with your body and the way you move it is unreal! You will have so much more poise and self-assurance after completing a good dance class. And do make sure it’s a good dance class too. Like a contemporary dance class or hip-hop, something along those lines, not a ballroom dance class, as those are kind of lame!

2. Acting/Improv Class

Acting classes are great for building your confidence as well. Typically we live within the confines of normalcy. We (as a society) walk, talk, and act very similarly. Nobody wants to really stick out and be different. In fact it takes guts to strive to be different in our society.

When you take an acting or improv class, normalcy doesn’t exist. Uniqueness, individuality, eccentricity: these are all things that make you shine! Taking one of these classes boosts your charisma, confidence, and energy. Not to mention, it obliterates any walls you have up!

3. Speech Class

Most people fear giving speeches more than anything else on this planet! Even more than death as many studies have demonstrated. How crazy is that? For whatever reason though it’s true. Getting up and speaking in front of a group of people is just very challenging to do. There’s something about being so vulnerable that scares the hell out of people!

That’s exactly why I recommend doing it. Rationally you have nothing to fear, and you won’t be putting yourself in any real danger. But the benefit of doing this and overcoming this fear is quite extraordinary. If you can take a speech class and start to develop your speaking skills in front of others, you will develop an unbelievable amount of confidence. This confidence of speaking in front of others will do wonders for approaching women and speaking to them!

If you want to push yourself beyond your comfort zone and get better with women try these 3 tips out. They will help you get over your fears and instill a new and unbelievable amount of confidence in yourself.

Justin StenstromJustin Stenstrom is a dating coach, author and speaker, and the founder of Giving Shy Guys Game. He coaches men and women online and in-person and teaches them how to improve their dating lives. Feel free to check out his website for more articles and tips about dating.


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