How to Keep Attraction Alive Over Text – 5 Keys
By TSB Magazine
Texting is a key skill every single guy needs to master. In an age where most first dates happen after several messages are sent back and forth, you can blow it with a girl without ever meeting her. And let’s be honest, that’s not news. You already have blown it at some point.
So how’s a guy to get the girl interested before they ever meet? How does he keep attraction alive over text message?
The answer is simple: knowing what texting is good for, and what it’s not.
Texting is for keeping attraction alive, not for locking things down. A lot of guys fail because they try to do way too much, too soon, via text.
Have a girl ever referred to you as her “texting buddy” before? That’s code for friend zone. No guy wants that.
Here are 5 keys for keeping attraction alive over text message. Keep these in mind so you can shine when you finally do see her in person.
#1 Don’t double text
There are very few cases when sending a second text message is appropriate. You might think it’s cute or flirty, but chances are you’re wrong.
Double texting (or worse, triple) screams neediness. It implies you are trying a little too hard or may be rushing things, and for a lot of girls, is too much.
If you’ve just met, and she isn’t answering your texts, just be patient. She may not be ignoring you. You can’t ruin a relationship by saying nothing, but you can by saying too much.
On the same note, do NOT send paragraph long texts to women. It implies way too much effort and investment. This is especially true if her texts are generally short, and you’re sending long detailed text. If so, stop immediately and get on the same rhythm as her.
#2 Be Okay When The Conversation Dies
This ties into not double texting, but there will also be situations where you have the option to let the conversation die. If it’s getting down to one word answers, just don’t answer. Believe it or not, that comes off as confident to most girls.
If you drag the conversation along, you’ll soon end up talking about nothing. She may be interested until you start talking about what you did at summer camp after sophomore year.
And remember, texting is like a bridge to the first or next date. You want to have stuff to talk about then, too. Your goal is simply to keep things going, not to progress much.
One nice tip is to use a question she asks you as a way to transition towards the next meet up. So if you mention a story and she asks you about it, you can say “That story is better told over a glass of wine. How about Wednesday?”
#3 Sprinkle In Jokes, Teasing and, Flirting
Texting is a good chance to show off your sense of humor. A few jokes will go a long way towards her seeing you can be funny.
Ideally, the jokes you use are not targeted at her. Doubly so if you haven’t met in person yet. Stick to current events, jokes about yourself, work, the gym, etc.
Using emojis, wink faces, and GIFs are also a good way to flirt. Keep in mind jokes are a good way to get her interested, but if you use too many, they will lose their shine. Being funny or flirty is about timing and delivery. Sprinkle, don’t pour.
#4 Start With Something Other Than “Hey”
If you want her to be interested in you, avoid sending generic texts like “Hey”.
Whenever possible, your first text should jump start the conversation. Ask her how something specific she mentioned yesterday went or lead with a subtle joke.
Others to avoid: “Hi!”, “Hey!”, “How are you?”, “What’s up?”… you get the idea.
#5 Mention Minor Details
What has she talked about to this point that you can reference?
Girls love it when guys notice the small stuff. So when she talks about a coworker she doesn’t like, try your best to remember his name. When she brings up that she’s getting dinner with her parents on Thursday night, ask if she’s excited about it on Wednesday.
Little details like this don’t seem like much, but she will notice them, especially if you just met.
Another fun way to do this is to use call-back humor or a funny nickname for her based on something the two of you have talked about.
#6 Be Unpredictable
One of the reasons a girl will often become bored with a guy is because he becomes too predictable with his texting and never leaves her guessing.
For instance, some guys will always wait an hour before texting her back. Other guys will always immediately respond. In both of these cases, you eventually become predictable and eventually her interest will turn to another guy.
Instead, my recommendation is to always mix things up. If you respond right away a couple times, then next time wait an hour or two to respond. This will leave her guessing and also she’ll begin to anticipate when she will see you again.
What a lot of guys don’t understand is that unpredictable rewards are the most pleasurable. This is why gambling is so pleasurable, because you never know when the reward will come. This is how you should view texting with a woman. Make it so that she doesn’t know when she will get the reward of hearing from you again.
#7 Keep Attraction Alive Over Text- Wrap-Up
The last thing any guy wants is to be a girl’s “texting buddy”. To avoid that, remember one simple rule:
Texting isn’t your time to shine, especially if you just met. It’s a bridge to the next time you’ll see her in person, so you should treat it as such.
Be subtle, interesting, funny, and detail-oriented when you do text, and chances are, things will go well when you’re spending time together.
Learn more at: TSB Magazine
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